From Fear to Love

You can choose who you want to be

What do you do when the life you’ve built starts to unravel?

For Fi Love, it began with a series of big changes—a separation, leaving Dubai (a place she’d loved and called home), and returning to the UK when it wasn’t what she wanted. These were not small disruptions. They brought grief, disorientation, and a growing awareness that something deeper was asking for her attention.

Fi’s Stories of Change interview stayed with me long after we finished recording. It wasn’t just the unusual, powerful act of changing her name from Fiona Fear to Fi Love. It was the honesty with which she talked about loneliness, ancestral patterns, childhood wounds—and the moment she decided she wasn’t going to judge herself anymore for the way she'd coped with life.

[Read Fi's full story]

[Watch Fi's interview]

Her story has so many layers, but underneath it all is this: we are allowed to choose who we want to be.

That’s the core of the life lesson I want to explore here.

Letting Go of the Judging Voice

Fi shared something that many of us will relate to. That voice in our head that says:

• “You should have known better.”
• “Why did you stay so long?”
• “You messed it up.”

That internal judgement can feel like a permanent fixture—especially when we look back at our past through the lens of who we are now. But Fi made a conscious decision to stop judging her younger self. She began to understand that those parts of her were doing their best with the tools they had.

When we release judgement, we create space for healing.

It doesn’t mean we excuse everything. It means we finally offer ourselves the compassion we’ve often reserved for others.

💭 A question for reflection:  Where are you still judging yourself for decisions made in survival mode?

Healing the Fear of Being Alone

For many people, especially after a relationship ends, there’s a deep fear: What if I’m always alone now?

Fi said that the only way she could truly heal that fear was to sit in it. Not bypass it. Not distract herself. Just… feel it.

And that part of her story made me pause.

So often, we resist discomfort so strongly that we prolong it. But Fi’s story is a reminder that sometimes, the only way through is through. And on the other side, there might just be something beautiful waiting.

💡 Life application:  Next time a hard feeling arises, what if—just for a moment—you let it be there without rushing to fix it?

Your Name, Your Identity

One of the most symbolic moments in Fi’s journey was when she changed her name. She went from Fiona Fear to Fi Love—quite literally from fear to love.

Now, whether or not you believe in the energy of names or numerology (and Fi shares some interesting insights into that), there’s something undeniably powerful about making a conscious choice about your identity.

Her new name wasn’t about ego. It was about alignment.

It marked the inner transformation she’d already begun—the healing of old patterns, the rebuilding of self-worth, the choice to let love (not fear) lead her life.

🌱 A question to sit with:  What name—word, identity, energy—would you give yourself if it reflected the version of you that’s emerging?

From ‘Life Happens to Me’ to ‘Life Happens for Me’

Fi talked about shifting her mindset from seeing life as something that was happening to her, to understanding it was happening for her. It’s not an easy shift—especially when things feel painful, unfair, or chaotic.

But she said that when she looked back, every difficult moment had delivered her to the exact tools, people, and insights she needed to grow.

If we can lean into that perspective—even a little—it changes how we move through challenge. It opens us up to growth, even in the mess.

Final Thought: You Get to Choose Again

Fi’s story is filled with courage, healing, and even humour (don’t miss the part where her hypnotherapy clients asked if she deliberately chose the name “Fear”!).

But what struck me most was this: you get to choose again.

• Even if you’ve made mistakes.
• Even if life has taken an unexpected turn.
• Even if fear has been in the driver’s seat for years.

You are allowed to choose again.

To me, that’s the essence of Stories of Change—and why Fi’s story might just be the nudge you need today.